questions and answers

So recently I've been doing lots of thinking. About what you might ask? Well this post is all about it, so read on :-) and it is kind of a lot of thoughts all jumbled together, so I apologize if it doesnt make the most sense or read all that easy....

I was reading recently on a friends blog about doing what you love. And as I was reading it and thinking about it, I don't really feel like I am doing what I love. dont get me wrong, I very much enjoy my job but its not fulfilling in the way that I think it should be and it certainly doesnt have kingdom impact. The only time I really feel fulfilled doing my job is when I am in Honduras. Which I am happy to say I am going back in just a few short months, November!!! YES!! But I don't wake up everyday and want to go to work. I love my job but not all aspects of it, the politics of working for a big hospital can be draining, and I dont just love it and feel at peace when I am at work.

So knowing this, I have been praying about it and thinking about. And as weird as it might seem even watching the office one of the episodes involves Pam and she finds out about a scholarship for art/graphic design and gets really excited about it and talks about it to Jim who also is excited for her about the potential for her to do what she loves, but then seems defeated after talking to Roy and being talked out of it. And she tells Jim this and he just doesnt get it, why wouldn't she do it? and whats holding her back? I was thinking of all the excuses why I am not doing what I love and there really are not any good ones besides the fact that it will be lots of time and studying.

But as I have been thinking and talking and praying about this with some important people in my life, I have decided to go back to school. :-) I am kind of excited about this new chapter which will probably begin in January.

And so without further ramblings, I am going to go to medical school and become a doctor!

First I have a get a bachelors degree which will most likely be 2 years of schooling then another 4 of med school. But I have wanted to do this for years now but have always talked myself out of it. I went to school to be a surgical tech because I wanted to see if I liked the medical field and I have found not only that I like it but I love it. I do not however love surgery and the needless surgeries that people get also dont think that I hate surgery because I don't, there is definitely a need for it in very many cases but not always. I want to be a doctor that cares for her patients and doesn't just go the easy way out, like a quick fix of drugs, that the pharmaceutical company pushes to get one to prescribe. I know that the body is downright incredible and has amazing healing capacities and I want to work with the human body that God created so infinitely. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and I want to learn more about this and how to better help his people and one day my patients to better do this.

So for now those are my rambling thoughts on my big decision of going back to school:-)